Cookie Crunch Doughnut & Orange Gloss Sundae, Krispy Kreme

Happy belated National Doughnut Day, America!

I have a long history with doughnuts here on Creamy Steaks, and yet if you would've asked me what my favorite baked good is, doughnuts would appear pretty low on that long...long...long list. I need to give it up to the doughnut, though.

 I mean,  I've posted doughnuts I'd like to eat, doughnuts I have eaten (Red Velvet, St. John's Custard/Cream, Chocolate Truffle) and my profile picture is me in the act of eating a doughnut. Clearly, I like them quite a bit even though I would've said cookie, cupcake, cake, blondie, and brownie before them.

They'll always beat out pie, though. Come on pie fans, you gotta get real.

As I said though, cookies are my top pick. Combine a cookie and a doughnut and you've got my attention. Of course, combine a doughnut and croissant and you've really got me looking. Cronuts in London NOW! Til then, I guess cookie/doughnut has to suffice. Doughkie? Oh, just sounds like dookie. Kindly forget this whole paragraph.

I gotta say, I think it is very silly that this is called 'Cookie Crunch', when it is so clearly cookies 'n' cream.

This one is your classic Krispy Kreme yeast-raised ring doughnut encrusted in sugar, but with a key difference...there is cookie crunch on top of it. Hey, you spilled Generic Cocoa Sandwich Cookies on my doughnut! Well, you got doughnut on my Generic Cocoa Sandwich Cookies!

Until I looked at this picture I had no idea that there was chocolate frosting underneath the cookies--so, not too strong of a taste there. The cookie bits were unfortunately not very crunchy, they were kind of softened up. Maybe if you got this doughnut straight away after glazing it would be good, but unfortunately my Krispy Kreme location is a kiosk in a train station, so I don't think they ever have the doughnuts 'hot'. Do any Krispy Kremes do that here? In the US, at least back in my day, Dunkin' Doughnuts and Krispy Kremes both had signs that lit up when the doughnuts were fresh-and they were always a million times better than the ones you would get hours later. You can replicate this a bit by microwaving them for 3 seconds at home, but I don't have a microwave so waa-waa.

Really, this was no better or worse than the classic Krispy Kreme, the cookie crumbles added so little except a vague cocoa-taste, tooth-blackening, and a handful more calories. Unimpressive, I'm sad to say. I would've been better off with a filled doughnut of some sort. To be fair though, I got this at the very end of the day so it might be quite nice when it is fresh and still has some crunch.

While the Cookie Crunch doughnut just disappointed me, like a child who did poorly on a test because they didn't even try; the Orange Gloss Sundae enraged me, like a child who didn't study for a test and instead spent all day huffing whipped cream & glue.

Whipped cream & glue is a pretty accurate approximation of this thing, by the way.

Sure, it looks pretty--I really like the glossy coat, it is shimmery and even glittery in real life, but they do not have the texture down on this kind of "icing". It feels like some cruel parent coated children's Aspirin in honey & molasses and made you gulp it down with more honey, chased down with some old bread. Before you can swallow it, they squirt whipped cream in and weird, horrible orange curls.

The orange taste in this is quite disgusting, and I usually like citrus with sweet. It does taste like children's medicine, and the doughnut itself was quite dull and chewy. So it was like a sticky, chewy Flintstone's vitamin. The only solace was the tragically tiny splotch of 'kreme' frosting in the center--can't fault that, it tasted like it always did but with the unfortunate undertone of ..."orange".

So, don't eat it! There are plenty of nice doughnuts at Krispy Kreme...why don't you eat them?