Tony's Chocolonely Rhubarb Crumble

Things have been highly strange in the CreamySteaks household lately...the main source of strangeness being the uncertainty of the household! See, we've been moving around between a few different apartments in the last month or so - explaining my lack of solid updates. Nothing big, so don't worry my dear readers - but I apologize for not being around so much.

What hasn't been strange is my desire to eat more and more chocolate. In times of uncertainty, I tend to find comfort in fat, sugar, and salt. In times of joy, I find a happy companion in sugar, fat, and salt. Basically they're always there for me - the three amigos, whatever the weather!
And me? I'm Dogtanian.

Tony Chocolonely is a company out of the Netherlands, specializing in big blocks of chocolate that are 100 percent fair-trade and super freaking tasty. Yeah, I'll cut to the chase: this milk chocolate was the top banana. They've got a great message as well, and I recommend a browse on their site to learn more about that, but I'm going to tell you how delicious it is, first of all.

The bar I tried came courtesy of my in-laws who had just returned from a trip to Amsterdam - I had requested just any ol' chocolate from there but little did I know that they'd return with such a massive bar of something that is quite unique!

The packaging is super colorful & very eye-catching, with bold type face & bright color choices. In Dutch, it seems to say Rhubarb Crumble, and milk chocolate.

The bar is unevenly split, and also really quirky and cute. As you can see it's super thick squares, so very satisfying. It's not too difficult to snap, even though it's so strangely formatted.

The milk chocolate is creamy, milky, and not too sweet. Imagine Milka with about a 45% cut in sugar, or Lindt with a more traditional texture & melt.

The rhubarb crumble seemed to mean a spread of both big & fine chunks of shortbread, interspersed with tangy and perhaps freeze-dried little bits of rhubarb. Really tangy & sweet, in that way that rhubarb candy or pie is.

It's here that I should warn you, Tony's Chocolonely seems quite difficult to come by in the UK. They have a webshop and you can send them an email and say exactly what you want to order, and they will manually process it. but they don't have any official UK stockists yet. I've got my fingers crossed that they will someday just be in shops - like Selfridges would be a good choice. Here's how to order Tony's Chocolonely in the UK or worldwide.

Candy Adriatico, March Box

I was the happy recipient of the March Candy Adriatico box - I'm sure you recall my delight with February's offering. As you can see, there was a real red theme throughout that box (I was told by the lovely owner of Candy Adriatico that this was indeed on purpose for the Valentine's season) and this month it's much more green! There was also some green paper inside acting as a buffer, too.

 Not only did it make me think of fresh spring weather (still waiting on that one in London!) but also St Patrick's Day. Being an American of Irish descent, I really tried to make it a special day on the 17th, but it's just not as big here. That made it even nicer when I opened this box up on March 17th - it was like an American style St Patrick's Day celebration in London by way of Slovenia. What a wild ride, huh?

Without further fluff, onto the sweets.

Gorenjka Jaffa Cake Bar - This was quite a bit sweeter than the classic McVitie's Jaffa Cake we get here in the UK, but still had a bit of zing from the jaffa. I think the chocolate isn't as bittersweet, but still dark, and the jaffa jam itself is quite lightly zesty. The cake was significantly softer than a McVitie's, and it was a far bit bigger. It would make a nice treat with tea, and the main difference is the softer cake. I kind of like the stale cake texture of Jaffa Cakes, but this bar feels a bit more high quality. There can be no arguing that this was a biscuit rather than cake!

Šumi Silk Hazelnut Hard Candies - These were a very unique experience for me! I've never had a hard candy that tasted exactly like this - most hard candies are fruity & tangy. This one is hazelnut flavored, quite subtly at that, with a delicate hazelnut cream in the middle.I didn't get a photo of these, but they sort of looked like root beer barrels with a cream-colored swirl. I really enjoyed them, it felt very indulgent while still just being a hard candy. It reminded me of a classier chocolate flavored Tootsie Pop, with a creamy center & a nutty, natural taste. I'd like to hear what other people think of these, as they're so unique!

Kinder Bueno Bites - What can I say about Kinder Buenos? They're one of my go-to chocolate bars when I'm just craving something sweet. The crispy thin wafer, the milky nutty center, the delicious chocolate covering - Kinder Buenos are a 10/10, and when you put them in little bite form they're still a 10/10. These are just like the individual segments of a traditional bar, and I think I ate all four of mine in quick succession. What can I say, they're one of my favorites. People with more self control than I can probably use these individually portioned bites to have "just a little bit" of chocolate.

Kraš Bonko - These are little taffy 'fruit caramels' that are individually wrapped. The flavors are all really refreshing, but my favorite is definitely the pineapple. These are a bit softer than Starburst, but otherwise fairly similar in terms of sweetness vs tang. When I looked them up online I saw they had lots of different flavor assortments, including a cola one which I bet is very nice. Another plus is it's a big bag - I think I can't manage to get through an entire bag of candy these days, but years ago these wouldn't have lasted long at all around me.

Animal Kingdom Chocolate - This is a popular bar with children, and I can see why. I think it came with a cute squirrel sticker, and on the wrapper is a sweet cartoon lion. The chocolate itself is very thin so not too much for a little appetite, and it tasted a lot like Hershey's chocolate, which surprised me given how much European chocolate usually doesn't taste like Hershey's! I loved it, but if you don't like American chocolate you may find this one not so appetizing. Mine melted a bit in transit, but it was the only casuality - and it was still tasty!

Ciocori Rice Chocolate - This one wasn't as nice as the Dorina rice chocolate that was included in the box last month. The rice wasn't very crispy, there wasn't that much of it, and it was just a bit sweet & plain. Not memorable for me, it was the only one in the box that left me a little cold. Then again, other people may really enjoy this one.

Bauli Croissant - I've had one of these before, and it's quite impressive how soft & fresh they stay even though they're shelf stable! This one is no different - soft & buttery, but not really flaky like a traditional croissant. Hey, you can't have it all! The vanilla custard innards are delicious, they even manage to get an eggy flavor in there. This one was really good - maybe my favorite in the pack, outside of the delicious Bueno Bites, of course.

Over all it was a really great surprise box! A nice variety of things - something for everyone. Candy Adriatico is a sweet company in many ways - I recommend a sign up.

Candy Adriatico, February Box

 When I got the opportunity to review this new subscription box from the Adriatic Sea area - called Candy Adriatico -  I was super excited. Thank you, lovely Nadi for the complimentary shipment. It arrived in such a nice, personalized box I could tell a lot of thought was put into it.

Inside there was further customization, with a personal note & a sweet postcard from Piran. It's an attractive city, I'd like to visit someday - 4th most romantic in Europe, apparently! Everything came in a large quantity - we could've easily gotten just a few of those Truly gummies, for instance, but it's an entire bag.

I noticed that most of the snack packaging was red, and I'm not sure if that was because of Valentine's Day or that's just the way snacks are packaged in the Adriatic region! Kind of like how purple & blue seems to be the color of sweets in England. Either way, it was cheery & very on-theme for Valentine's Day.

The first thing I dug into was the Dorina bar, milk chocolate with puffed rice. I loved it, and luckily there was lots of it to love. It's a moderately sweet & milky chocolate, like Milka or other European continental chocolates. 

The rice was plentiful & maybe lightly sweetened - reminded me of cereals like this one, which personal favorites of mine. I really liked the texture of this bar, the amount of puffed rice inside was more than you may first expect and made for something different from your usual Cadbury bar.

The Jadro wafers were next up, and I was pretty into these from the start. When I was younger I used to love World Market, a shop in the USA that sells some candy & snacks from around the world. Big shock I'd like a place like that, huh? Anyway, they sold Loacker wafer cubes, and I loved them. I assumed these wafers were from Italy as well, but these were actually from Croatia!

 These were just as nice as the Loacker wafers from back then. Crispy yet delicate. Inside the wafers is chocolate cream & I believe vanilla cream? The chocolate filling has a strong taste, unlike some cheaper (read...American) wafer cookies. The white filling also had a legitimate taste of vanilla - rather than the standard 'sugar cream'. It may have been white chocolate, but whatever it was it had a rich & buttery flavor.

Speaking of Loacker - this next bar is actually made by them! I didn't realize until after I had already eaten it, haha. This one is Choco & Milk Cereals.

 It reminded me of the Kinder Country bar, with the thick milky cream that has a slightly nutty taste. The little bits of cereal just add crispness & the chocolate coating is high quality European stuff. 

This one went down very quickly, I'd happily choose it for an afternoon snack anytime.

Next I enjoyed the roll cake. This really reminded me of Little Debbie's Swiss Rolls, but better. The chocolate covering is properly chocolate, not a weird choco-confection like a lot of snack cakes use. The filling was creamy & light, didn't coat my mouth in a weird way.

 The cake itself was natural & sweet. If you're an expat American craving Little Debbie's, I'd happily recommend you find a way to get these - good news, there is a way, and I'll tell you at the end. :)

The Zanzibar chocolate was gianduja with a whole hazelnut in, and it was just as tasty as it sounds. Which is to say super tasty. I love hazelnut & chocolate combinations like all red-blooded human beings, and this is just a quick little hit of that perfect combo.

 Nice to include a whole nut as well - gives it a more premium feel. The hole in my bar is where the nut was...haha. Sorry.

There were a couple of fruitier candies included - including some strawberry Starburst type sweets that I didn't try...but I received reports from my snacking companion that they were nice & sweet. That's why he doesn't have his own blog I suppose, haha. 

I did have quite a few of these Truly gummies & they're quite nice. I appreciate the natural way they've been made, with fruit juice & no artificial colors. To be honest, I kind of like the stronger taste that comes with artificial flavors, but I also understand it's unhealthy!

 I really love the texture of these, they're like firm gumdrops covered in a fine sugar. The orange is particularly good with a strong fruity tang.

So all together, a lovely package with tons of chocolate I would've never otherwise tried. That's what makes this box so interesting to me - it's chocolate & candy from a region that I (and perhaps others, too) don't know much about. That's not to even mention the sweet the owner who is very communicative & obviously passionate about her region of the world and the delicious snacks therein. If you're interested in this specific box (including the reminiscent-but-tastier cake rolls) I happen to have some insider info that there will soon be an option on the site to order sweets from previous boxes...However, it'd be just as fun to get some new snacks! Take a look at the Candy Adriatico website for more info & discover the snacks of the Adriatic sea!..and I don't mean fish & kelp.

Nestle Joe XXL

I wasn't a huge fan of the Big Joe bar I tried from Nestle Romania, but this Joe XXL was picked up alongside it and contained chocolate, so I wasn't going to not eat it.

This bar followed the same sort of color scheme from the first Big Joe, purple with a bit of silver, but this time a lighter shade of both. Maybe because this one is milk chocolate, and the other was plain? Hm... I was anticipating this was just going to be a longer, flatter version of the Big Joe, so my hopes weren't high.

Not a lot of chocolate coating on there, and therefore not a lot of promise. The bar was a bit busted when I opened it, but that is to be expected, considering it has been imported. I took a bite, and was pleasantly surprised. It was exactly like a Quadratini, and not much like the Big Joe bar. It was a higher quality wafer, with a tasty cocoa creme filling. Seriously, it was like a squat little bar of Quadratini with a chocolate coating. The wafers are crispy and don't get powdery as you chew. The Big Joe bar from a few days ago was like a stale cake cone meant for ice cream, this is like a properly nice wafer cookie. I actually kind of like it! There are apparently a few different varieties of the Joe XXL, too: vanilla, rum, and quite inexplicably, apple cinnamon. I'd love to try those last two.

I bought both of the Joe bars at the exact same time, so I don't think the quality difference it is an issue of freshness. Unfortunately, I've already thrown out the original Big Joe wrapper, so I can't compare ingredients or sell-by dates. Best I can say is, if you see the Big Joe and the Joe XXL together (say, you're in Romania) and you're craving chocolate, get the Joe XXL. Much nicer than the dried up Big Joe...but still not as nice as a KitKat.

Nestle Big Joe Bar

I was most intrigued by the name of this Nestle bar, hailing all the way from Romania. I found it in my local Budgen's, which seems to make a habit of stocking three or four new, completely random foodstuffs from various sundry locales every time I come in. My favorite are the Rainbow Cookies from Russia, who proudly say that 'Even the kids like 'em!' on their package. Hey, if you can manage to get a kid to eat a cookie with M&Ms in it, let alone actually like it? More power to ya, magic man.

Well, the Big Joe doesn't make any such bold proclamations, instead relying on you to have fond memories of that Big John song but also to accidentally sing it to yourself as Big Joe. The wrapper itself is mostly black and purple, and looks more like an energy bar or a meal replacement for weightlifters than a chocolate bar. The graphic on the front is like a lightsabre, or something else that has a glowing, phosphorescent stick attached to it. This one is purple!

As you can see it is more of that dry wafer stuff. Does anybody get their world set on fire by these things? Sure, this Big Joe bar was completely inoffensive...plain chocolate kept it from being too sweet, and the creme between the wafers actually seemed to have a fairly strong cocoa taste, but the wafers just turned to dust as I was trying to chew. There is something special about a KitKat's texture that these things just don't seem to have down. KitKats are crispy and crunchy, while the wafer in this and the PS Bar both just seemed like those 'sugar wafers' found in your great aunt's handbag. I'd totally eat them, and with interesting coatings (Caramilky PS...) and decent cremes (Big Joe's big cocoa) they can be pretty nice. I just don't think a bar with this kind of wafer in it can ever go beyond just nice.

Funny enough, the Big Joe is marketed to men in Romania, as opposed to most of our wafer chocolates here in the UK and America that are aimed at figure-conscious ladies. Even in the Romanian description of the Big Joe it says, "Today there are many products that specifically targets women (reduced calorie, lower formats, sophisticated flavors ...) but not many sweets that a man can choose convinced that just for him." Sure, this isn't a sophisticated chocolate (something apparently hated by men) but it is kinda reduced calorie. It is a big bar of airy wafer, 230 calories for a bar longer than the whole of my hand is pretty calorie conscious! Compare it to the butchy man's man chocolate here in the UK--the Yorkie standing in at nearly 400 calories for a little bar--and one looks positively Weight Watchers approved.

I for one am a fan of chocolate without any gender stuff attached to it, but in this instance it doesn't even really make stereotypical sense. In a way I applaud it for defying social chocolate gender cues, but in another way I think they were just being very cheap by pumping it full of wafer, but made it physically big so men could be convinced it was a hearty chocolate anyway. Either way, they won't have to worry about this girl eating inside their powdery, dry clubhouse again. Until I review the Big Joe XXL, that is.

Pronto Cornmeal Cinnamon Porridge

My husband brought this home with him recently, just on a lark. I don't know what possessed him to pick this up, especially because he said it was specifically for me and I've never indicated any love for porridge, or even cinnamon for that matter. I'm not very creative when it comes to breakfasts, especially every day. I have cold cereal with milk, and that's usually it. Mostly because I wake up quite ravenous and just want to eat as quickly as possible. No time for all that frying and toasting, filling things up to lines, waiting three minutes for something to cool down...and that's why I only got around to trying this porridge as an afternoon snack.

I don't know much about Jamaican convenience food, I have no clue what sort of candy or junk is produced there! I'm curious to know more, even if my experience with this porridge was...not so great. This powdery substance was going to take 3 minutes to 'cook' after pouring boiling water up to a fill line. Certainly convenient, and quite befitting of the brand name Pronto. Not much else they can make under that name, huh? Instant noodles, self-heating coffee cans, minute rice...Anyway, I poured in the boiling water and waited.

Aw jeez, it looks like one of those lotus pods so popularly photoshopped on to otherwise pleasant things. Blergh, not looking forward to this one bit. It smells okay at least-- like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, or an otherwise sweet, powdered cinnamon product.

It tastes pretty horrible. As you can see it is lumpy. I don't know if that has to do with the way I prepared it (added hot water, stirred, waited) or if that is just the nature of cornmeal porridge. Inside the lumps were drier clods of sweet cinnamon flavor and powder. The rest of it was a slurry of cinnamon sugar paste, that at least technically provides sustenance. I definitely felt like I was not only at a hospital, but I was at a hospital that had ran out of all food except for powdered baby formula. Fact is, the taste itself isn't really the issue, it tasted a lot like any cinnamon cereal...it was the texture. It had one of the more gruesome textures I've ever forced down... the powdery lumps covered in applesauce-smooth goo. I don't think I'd ever eat this, or any other cornmeal porridge again. It sort of reminded me of Cream o' Wheat, except with added lumps where Cream o' Wheat is unrelentingly smooth slop. I don't like either of them, give me a cereal crunch any day of the week.

Maybe porridge just isn't for me. This one is too lumpy, this one is too smooth, and this one is being eaten by bears. You know how it goes!

Nestle Princessa, Kokosowa

I picked up this bar from Tesco in the little Polish section--it was on sale and it looked like it might be coconut, so I was all in.

It was a super shiny wrapper, quite eye catching. I guess some promotion is/was being ran with L'oreal in Poland...couple this with the name, and I think this is a bar squarely aimed at the ladyfolk. Even more evidence of this comes from the candy contents- wafers, wafers, and more wafers. According to gendered chocolate, the ladies love wafers, crispy rolled things, and nougat that is whipped. Harumph, no thanks! The coconut definitely keeps me interested, though...

As you can see it is a bit more of a yellow color than you would presume a white chocolate to be. It smells very strongly of buttery, sweet coconut. Fact is, it doesn't taste much like white chocolate...but for all I know, it isn't even meant to be white chocolate! The taste is just heavily artificial butter flavoring and a decent coconut. The wafers are quite dry and powdery, they don't have the nice crispity-crunch that a KitKat has. The coconut cream is actually quite nice, it has a bit of a yogurt/tangy edge to it. Kind of makes me think of pina colada, rather than plain coconut.

If this bar was coated in milk chocolate, or a higher quality white coating, I'd really like it, but as it stands it was a bit too dry, buttery, and sweet for me.

Milky Way Berries 'n' Cream

I'm not crazy for Milky Way, whether it is the caramel-topped style or mousse-y whip found throughout Europe--I just find it too sweet and texturally boring. I do like variations on popular candy bars though, so I was interested in trying this Australian edition of Milky Way, a wee little bar of whippy nougat flavored like berries...AND cream!

This is a tiny bar, in my smallish palm it is about halfway from  my wrist to the base of my fingers. If I was just glancing around at chocolate bars, I would've pegged this one as meant for children or people who are on pretty restrictive diets. Milky Way is pretty low calorie, so I can see the small size working in its favor if they're trying to tempt snackish weight watchers.

So, we've got a small bar of a candy that I'm not a big fan of, nyuk nyuk. The chips are stacked against this one, I'm afraid to say. When I split it in two, I was pleasantly surprised by the effort in differentiating between the cream and the berry flavors.

The color combination is nice, really reminds me of a Battenberg cake. Unfortunately it doesn't taste anywhere near as nice as it looks. Now, maybe you're a fan of Milky Way--and if you are, I can't see why you wouldn't like this bar. It is extremely sweet, has that whipped nougat, vaguely sandy texture that Milky Ways always have, but with a decent raspberry flavor thrown in the mix. The chocolate might as well not be there at all, it just feels like you're chomping down on sticky nougat. I'm of the opinion that nougat needs to have bits suspended in it to ever possibly be enjoyed. For instance, I think Snickers is pretty nice, but that is because the nougat is balanced by peanuts and a fairly thick coating of chocolate. I don't like Mars, because I think caramel does not properly balance nougat...it is just sweet on sweet, gloop on chew.

For me, this Milky Way was far too sweet, and far too sticky to really enjoy. If you like Milky Ways already, the berry taste was pleasant and not medicinal or artificial, so you'll probably think it is a nice change of pace. If you don't like Milky Ways, this won't be the one to change your mind.