Crusha Milkshake Puds

I am a big fan of Crusha milks, although I refuse to call them milkshakes- they're flavoured milk, a wholly different thing in the Nesquik family. I also like USA style pudding, as made by Jell-o. I thought this Crusha stuff was going to just be a classic plastic pot of an Americana children's dessert. Little did I know at that time that it was super disgusting and that cat on the pot was in the throes of a vomitorious attack. In a word, this is gross.
I tried the vanilla one first, because vanilla is my favorite pudding flavour AND my favorite flavoured milk flavour. Nice regular packaging, foil lid, funny old cat on the front. When opened, there was no smell-not a dealbreaker, but sort of a bad sign. This was, by the way, like 50p at Sainsburys, so I wasn't expecting any kind of bouquet of vanilla orchid. It was a very thin consistency, not much like a "good" pudding, but a lot like the cheap, shelf stable puddings, which seemed to be what the Crusha Pud was modelled off of. So smell and texture was as I expected, and I was anticipating something that aped the very specific taste of crappy vanilla pudding in America. Instead of cheap vanilla pudding it was cheap imitation vanilla extract thickened with...oh, let's say, carrageen. Something tasteless and gross to think about. It also seemed nearly unsweetened, which made it taste more boozy than dessert-y. I bet the sugar was cut so parents could feel better about feeding this to kids, but Crusha Puds are only going to help children build an early tolerance to the burn of alcohol. Next up, Crusha Wobbly Blackcurrant Jello Shots. I'm blowing the lid off this whole operation! I also tried the chocolate, and the experience was much the same, although unsweetened cocoa powder is a lot more edible than imitation vanilla extract, so it won out tastewise...if there can be such a winner. I'm working myself up to the banana flavour--there is no way it is going to improve things. This stuff sucks, make your own pudding or spring for a Jell-o import mix.