Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Fruit Punch Oreos

Fruit Punch Oreos are super weird, and really show that the good folks down at Nabisco are willing to take risks. I like that in a snack. However, they taste like Flintstones Chewable Vitamins.

I don't like that in a snack unless it's at least giving me zinc while it's grossing me out. Fruit Punch Oreos ain't giving out anything but heartache.

My husband refused to even try these, and to drive his point home refused to bring them into his office for his co-workers. I decided not to share them either, as these Oreos would definitely be cause for alarm in my office - which is mostly comprised of continental Europeans who already raise their eyebrows at any American snack. This one ain't ready for the UN, let's put it that way.

First thing, I suppose we need to figure out what exactly 'Fruit Punch' flavor should be. I think of it as a tangy, sweet, 'red' flavor and all indications on the front of the box say that's also how these Oreos wish to be perceived. If you've ever had Hawaiian Punch or any maroon-to-pink spectrum Kool-Aid, you'll know exactly what I mean by red flavored.

They smell tangy & sticky, just like a sweet kid's juice. The cream is a lurid red color, and something that I'm sure is actually contraband in the EU. Though after all the money I've paid to customs through my years as an expatriate, I deserve some home-style E numbers.

The taste though - yeesh. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't expecting a tastebud-by-tastebud reproduction of a crunchy multivitamin. Maybe it's been too long since I had some Red 129 and I've grown to forget the taste, but this tasted surprisingly powder-y & had something a bit bitter behind the sweet that I'm sure was unintentional. The texture also seemed off - Oreos I've had in the past have a creamier & lighter consistency in the cream, whereas this was just like a thick, sticky paste. I could've easily rolled it up into a ball without it leaving much of a trace on my hands, and when I split the sandwich it easily clung to just the one side. Think fondant rather than frosting.

 I wonder if it comes from the addition of flavor & color - but not all flavored & colored Oreos behave like this. For instance, the Reeses' ones are a pure joy with a classically smooth & 'sticky' cream. However, the Watermelon type also had this weird texture.

Long story short, if you want weird American Oreos there are much better flavors to choose from:
Candy Corn
Banana Split
for instance.

I've got my eye on a few that have came out recently, including S'mores and Cotton Candy. Will they ever run out of flavors for Oreos? I'm waiting on 'Salty Sweet Cream', myself. Or if they want to make it a bit more pedestrian - salted caramel cream. What say you, Oreo board of directors?


  1. EW vitamin Oreos. I used to really like the grape flavour Flintstones chewables though, which is strange because (I know you and I differ on this but) I am so not down with grape as a flavouring. Have you tried any of those weird fruity pink and purple Chinese Oreos? I have not.

    S'mores and Cotton Candy Oreos however? GET IN

    1. We'll just never see eye to eye on grape man...But Flintstones chewable grape, seems that no one can deny they're tastiness. I was a huge fan of Flintstones chewables as a kid - best vitamins ever, although an unpleasant Oreo filling haha.

      I have tried some weird Chinese Oreos, but specifically some kind of 'blueberry ice cream' one that had mentholated bits embedded in it for the 'ice cream' part. It was...interesting. Better than these, actually! I've also seen some mango ones in some Asian grocery shops that I ought to try one of these days.

      All about the S'mores Oreos, hoping I can try em sometime. They really missed a trick not calling them S'moreos!

  2. ooh! salted caramel creme! shoot-- i'd take Angel Food cake flavour too!!

    1. Angel food cake is a very interesting idea! I'd like to see how they translate that...Glad you see it my way on salted caramel cream! :D